I'd forgotten about Red Neckerson's radio spots from when I was a child until I read his obituary today. Clean enough for family (unless you're a real prude) but still funny. Wish we had more like him.
He wrote this in 1991. Imagine what he would say about cell phones now!
"From 1991Cell phone madness is in the air
by red neckerson
I recently read an article on a study that concluded cell phones cause no harm to users, and frankly I was disappointed. That leaves punishment to folks like me who are fed up with loud-mouthed lamebrains shrieking into those gizmos at ball games, movies, restaurants and stores, or while weaving all over the road at 90 miles an hour. The sickos who design cell phones make them the size of a chigger so they will be easier to lose, prompting sales for replacements. Since the tiny microphone is nowhere near the user's mouth, they have to scream to be heard by the victim of the call. This is irritating, disruptive and confusing to anyone else within 100 yards of them. Last night, I stopped by the grocery store to browse and complain about prices, when some woman yelled, "What are we having for supper?" Even thought I thought it was sort of a nosy question, I hollered back, "Baloney sandwiches, what else?" She gave me a dirty look and ordered me to "Mind my own business." Then I noticed she was talking into a cell phone. I thought she had been pulling on an ear lobe like Carol Burnett. Even more maddening is to be driving along, minding my own business and spotting a tailgater yakking on a cell phone. I always suspect that they are phoning the police to turn me in for some minor infraction. These fiendish devices don't make a normal beeping or ringing sound, oh no, that wouldn't be irritating enough. They blast out some nauseating version of "Dixie," "Yankee Doodle Dandy" or "Me So Horny." Being confined near someone carrying such a constantly erupting torture device could turn an anger management consultant into a homicidal maniac. Cell phones have been banned in our home. We shall continue to communicate as nature intended, by yelling at one another."
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Home school
Roo and her Mom are getting first grade home school off to a good start. (Just hope it stays that way!) I had to laugh though when she corrected Mom about the San Franscisco earthquake today. Mom was explaining it had been a really long time ago since that occurred, more than 100 years ago, in 1908. Roo very quickly, but not impolitely, said "I think it was 1906." Guess that home school teaching can cut both ways, lol.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Should be interesting...
Roo and her Mom had their first day of home school today. When she told Little Bit she would be staring pre-school at the end of the month, she said she wanted to go to home school. Should be interesting when she really does start.
Friday, August 13, 2010
In honor of Friday the 13th
I wrote this column a couple of years ago after a colossal but funny blunder I made on Friday 13th.
I’ve never considered myself to be a superstitious person and have always laughed at the idea of a particular number causing an ordinary Friday to be an “unlucky” day.
Maybe not anymore though. Yesterday may have gone a long way towards convincing me that maybe there just might really be something to all the fuss.
I actually managed to get a haircut without catastrophe but that was about the only thing that didn’t seem to go wrong all day.
Aside from the fact it was about as hot, sticky and miserable a day as we have had so far, the first clue came early when I was drying water off my car and discovered someone had run something up under the undercarriage and left a small scratch. A tiny one, but a scratch nevertheless. Needless to say it was not the best way to start the day.
Then I discovered a certain bank branch (not local) had mixed up my account with my daughter’s and changed the checking status. No biggie, just another straw like discovering later that the spell checker file seems to have disappeared from my computer.
Staying in the house didn’t help either. I was pretty sure it would be fairly safe to dip some cherries in melted chocolate. Wrong. I had about finished the task and was quite proud I had managed to get it done without getting any on me when the spoon I had been using to scrape the bowl flipped straight up and spilled the stuff on me, the counter, the floor and what seemed like the whole kitchen. (I never knew an iced teaspoon could hold that much!)
Somehow though, the mess skipped from my blouse to the floor and missed my white pants entirely. I was feeling pretty good about that but by the time I got it all cleaned up, I had gotten chocolate all over them.
About then, the dryer shut off and I went to get my coverlet out before it wrinkled. In a momentary lapse of sanity, I just gathered the clean linen up to my chocolate covered shirt and headed into the den. You can guess what that did to the “clean” part of clean linen. As if that was not enough, after I managed to get that fisasco straightened out, the darn thing had shrunken 3-4 inches and doesn’t fit the bed anymore. Go figure!
Things quietened down for a little while but I should have known it wasn’t over. My cell phone rang late in the afternoon and a sweet little thing named Heather said she was calling about a Father’s Day Contest I had entered my dad into. I swear I am not usually rude to telemarketers but with the day I had had so far, coupled with the fact Daddy has been dead since 1978, I was really annoyed with her. I thought, “How cheesy,” using a sentimental holiday to try to sell something!
I told her my father had been dead 40 years (yes, I know it’s 30 but that was no time for math) and asked how she got my cell phone number. But I snapped the phone shut before the poor thing had time to answer. I must say in my defense, Heather talked quite rapidly and I only understood about every other word.
Unfortunately, about the time I closed the telephone, I realized what she was calling about. I had entered my son-in-law Jamie in a Father’s Day contest on a nationally syndicated radio show. I had 30 seconds to tell them why I thought he deserved to win one of three really nice Craftsman tool sets (or one of several tool boxes) and apparently my entry was a winning one.
I called right back but she had gone on to the next person on the list and given Jamie’s prize to them. I don’t know if it was one of the biggies or not and I don’t think I want to know.
When I called my daughter and told her what had happened, into between entirely too much snickering and giggling, she said I didn’t even have to tell them about it. I said yes I did. When I do something that supid, I have to share it with someone. She asked if I wanted to tell Jamie but I let her handle that job. He called back in a few minutes and he was laughing even harder than Julie did. Unfortunately, that gift of uncontrollable mirth was all he “won.”
That was by no means the last aggravating thing that happened before I went to bed but was probably the most traumatic. It’s really bad when the highlight and lowlight of your day is losing a really nice gift for your son-in-law.
He was a good sport about it though. He says my thinking that much of him was gift enough. Knowing how much he loves Craftsman tools, I can only hope he still feels the same way when he finally stops laughing so hard.
Paraskavedekatriaphobia, Anyone?
I’ve never considered myself to be a superstitious person and have always laughed at the idea of a particular number causing an ordinary Friday to be an “unlucky” day.
Maybe not anymore though. Yesterday may have gone a long way towards convincing me that maybe there just might really be something to all the fuss.
I actually managed to get a haircut without catastrophe but that was about the only thing that didn’t seem to go wrong all day.
Aside from the fact it was about as hot, sticky and miserable a day as we have had so far, the first clue came early when I was drying water off my car and discovered someone had run something up under the undercarriage and left a small scratch. A tiny one, but a scratch nevertheless. Needless to say it was not the best way to start the day.
Then I discovered a certain bank branch (not local) had mixed up my account with my daughter’s and changed the checking status. No biggie, just another straw like discovering later that the spell checker file seems to have disappeared from my computer.
Staying in the house didn’t help either. I was pretty sure it would be fairly safe to dip some cherries in melted chocolate. Wrong. I had about finished the task and was quite proud I had managed to get it done without getting any on me when the spoon I had been using to scrape the bowl flipped straight up and spilled the stuff on me, the counter, the floor and what seemed like the whole kitchen. (I never knew an iced teaspoon could hold that much!)
Somehow though, the mess skipped from my blouse to the floor and missed my white pants entirely. I was feeling pretty good about that but by the time I got it all cleaned up, I had gotten chocolate all over them.
About then, the dryer shut off and I went to get my coverlet out before it wrinkled. In a momentary lapse of sanity, I just gathered the clean linen up to my chocolate covered shirt and headed into the den. You can guess what that did to the “clean” part of clean linen. As if that was not enough, after I managed to get that fisasco straightened out, the darn thing had shrunken 3-4 inches and doesn’t fit the bed anymore. Go figure!
Things quietened down for a little while but I should have known it wasn’t over. My cell phone rang late in the afternoon and a sweet little thing named Heather said she was calling about a Father’s Day Contest I had entered my dad into. I swear I am not usually rude to telemarketers but with the day I had had so far, coupled with the fact Daddy has been dead since 1978, I was really annoyed with her. I thought, “How cheesy,” using a sentimental holiday to try to sell something!
I told her my father had been dead 40 years (yes, I know it’s 30 but that was no time for math) and asked how she got my cell phone number. But I snapped the phone shut before the poor thing had time to answer. I must say in my defense, Heather talked quite rapidly and I only understood about every other word.
Unfortunately, about the time I closed the telephone, I realized what she was calling about. I had entered my son-in-law Jamie in a Father’s Day contest on a nationally syndicated radio show. I had 30 seconds to tell them why I thought he deserved to win one of three really nice Craftsman tool sets (or one of several tool boxes) and apparently my entry was a winning one.
I called right back but she had gone on to the next person on the list and given Jamie’s prize to them. I don’t know if it was one of the biggies or not and I don’t think I want to know.
When I called my daughter and told her what had happened, into between entirely too much snickering and giggling, she said I didn’t even have to tell them about it. I said yes I did. When I do something that supid, I have to share it with someone. She asked if I wanted to tell Jamie but I let her handle that job. He called back in a few minutes and he was laughing even harder than Julie did. Unfortunately, that gift of uncontrollable mirth was all he “won.”
That was by no means the last aggravating thing that happened before I went to bed but was probably the most traumatic. It’s really bad when the highlight and lowlight of your day is losing a really nice gift for your son-in-law.
He was a good sport about it though. He says my thinking that much of him was gift enough. Knowing how much he loves Craftsman tools, I can only hope he still feels the same way when he finally stops laughing so hard.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
At least it isn't that!
The girls were playing with Barbie dolls a few days ago when Little Bit (the three-year-old) told her sister that the doll she was playing with was sick. When Roo asked what was wrong, LB told her that the doll had H1N1 and it was worse than a tummy bug.
The past few weeks have been rough, especially the last two, but at least I don't have that. My allergies rank it pretty high on the list of feeling rough though, especially when they are relentless as these are. They seem to be partially under control for now and they've begun working on the mold problem in my apartment at last. Hopefully, I will soon be rid of the mold for good and perhaps to feeling like a human once more.
My good friend and neighbor procured wonderful seats at the Braves game/Sara Evans concert yesterday and we had a blast. Her generous cousin who works for the Braves, gave them to us free of charge, and even gave us a parking pass!. Good to know there are nice folks still around...
The past few weeks have been rough, especially the last two, but at least I don't have that. My allergies rank it pretty high on the list of feeling rough though, especially when they are relentless as these are. They seem to be partially under control for now and they've begun working on the mold problem in my apartment at last. Hopefully, I will soon be rid of the mold for good and perhaps to feeling like a human once more.
My good friend and neighbor procured wonderful seats at the Braves game/Sara Evans concert yesterday and we had a blast. Her generous cousin who works for the Braves, gave them to us free of charge, and even gave us a parking pass!. Good to know there are nice folks still around...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Getting lazy again
I fear I am getting lazy again but it's difficult to keep up a blog when your co-blogger goes silent. In my defense, it has been that kind of week. I've tried to keep check on my neighbor regularly even though I probably haven't been much help. She seems to be improving every day though. Having been down that path, I know how she feels!
Still fighting allergies. During all this, I somehow managed to injure my knee and finally wound up getting a shot in it after ultra sound etc. didn't help much. Also had a 4th allergy med added to my regimen in addition to the shorts. I gave the company that owns this apartment to either get rid of the mold here or I would be looking for a new place. I may have a new, inside advantage in this matter. I learned from a condo board member that in the future, when a tenant vacates a property, it will have to be sold. Outside owners will no longer be permitted to use it for rental property. It that holds, this means they need to keep me here in order to recoup some of what they paid for it.
To cap off the week so far, I got caught in a sudden downpour while waiting to cross Peachtree this afternoon. Not a shelter in sight and I looked like a drowned cat before I could get across and into CVS. Then I realized I had left the moon roof on my car tilted because it was hot and sunny when I left it about 20 minutes before! Water in the parking lot was so deep that I had to wade through it to get to my car to close the roof. The rain was blowing sideways so of course it was getting soaked. I started home and learned it had only rained right there in that little area. Workers six blocks away were raising dust on at their road project.
And it's only Wednesday!
Still fighting allergies. During all this, I somehow managed to injure my knee and finally wound up getting a shot in it after ultra sound etc. didn't help much. Also had a 4th allergy med added to my regimen in addition to the shorts. I gave the company that owns this apartment to either get rid of the mold here or I would be looking for a new place. I may have a new, inside advantage in this matter. I learned from a condo board member that in the future, when a tenant vacates a property, it will have to be sold. Outside owners will no longer be permitted to use it for rental property. It that holds, this means they need to keep me here in order to recoup some of what they paid for it.
To cap off the week so far, I got caught in a sudden downpour while waiting to cross Peachtree this afternoon. Not a shelter in sight and I looked like a drowned cat before I could get across and into CVS. Then I realized I had left the moon roof on my car tilted because it was hot and sunny when I left it about 20 minutes before! Water in the parking lot was so deep that I had to wade through it to get to my car to close the roof. The rain was blowing sideways so of course it was getting soaked. I started home and learned it had only rained right there in that little area. Workers six blocks away were raising dust on at their road project.
And it's only Wednesday!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Maybe customer service isn't quite dead yet
How is this for customer service? (I’ve frequently found it lacking so I want to share some good experiences for a change.)
An order for a specialty order from Papa John’s a few weeks ago took 45 minutes to get to me. (I posted earlier that they had cooked my order incorrectly and this gave me both pizzas.) Not long after that, I received a post card in the mail from them said my recent order did not meet their delivery standards and they wanted to give me a free pizza. That meant 3 large specialty pizzas for the $10 promotional price I paid for one. Outstanding!
The second instance was last Sunday when my son and I were in Target after having brunch at Radial’s. A huge thunderstorm started before we finished and the power went out. (Do you know it’s really, really pitch black in Target when you’re standing at the back of the store where there are no windows and the lights go off?) The backup power kicked in a few minutes later and when we got to the registers, there was a young woman standing there handing out coupons for $3 off everyone’s order for the “inconvenience” experienced. A very pleasant surprise since they had no control over the weather and it wasn’t like anyone was leaving with lightning crashing all around and buckets of rain falling! Good touch though and I commend them for it.
An order for a specialty order from Papa John’s a few weeks ago took 45 minutes to get to me. (I posted earlier that they had cooked my order incorrectly and this gave me both pizzas.) Not long after that, I received a post card in the mail from them said my recent order did not meet their delivery standards and they wanted to give me a free pizza. That meant 3 large specialty pizzas for the $10 promotional price I paid for one. Outstanding!
The second instance was last Sunday when my son and I were in Target after having brunch at Radial’s. A huge thunderstorm started before we finished and the power went out. (Do you know it’s really, really pitch black in Target when you’re standing at the back of the store where there are no windows and the lights go off?) The backup power kicked in a few minutes later and when we got to the registers, there was a young woman standing there handing out coupons for $3 off everyone’s order for the “inconvenience” experienced. A very pleasant surprise since they had no control over the weather and it wasn’t like anyone was leaving with lightning crashing all around and buckets of rain falling! Good touch though and I commend them for it.
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