Another "old friend" gone

I'd forgotten about Red Neckerson's radio spots from when I was a child until I read his obituary today. Clean enough for family (unless you're a real prude) but still funny. Wish we had more like him.


He wrote this in 1991. Imagine what he would say about cell phones now!

"From 1991Cell phone madness is in the air


by red neckerson


I recently read an article on a study that concluded cell phones cause no harm to users, and frankly I was disappointed. That leaves punishment to folks like me who are fed up with loud-mouthed lamebrains shrieking into those gizmos at ball games, movies, restaurants and stores, or while weaving all over the road at 90 miles an hour. The sickos who design cell phones make them the size of a chigger so they will be easier to lose, prompting sales for replacements. Since the tiny microphone is nowhere near the user's mouth, they have to scream to be heard by the victim of the call. This is irritating, disruptive and confusing to anyone else within 100 yards of them. Last night, I stopped by the grocery store to browse and complain about prices, when some woman yelled, "What are we having for supper?" Even thought I thought it was sort of a nosy question, I hollered back, "Baloney sandwiches, what else?" She gave me a dirty look and ordered me to "Mind my own business." Then I noticed she was talking into a cell phone. I thought she had been pulling on an ear lobe like Carol Burnett. Even more maddening is to be driving along, minding my own business and spotting a tailgater yakking on a cell phone. I always suspect that they are phoning the police to turn me in for some minor infraction. These fiendish devices don't make a normal beeping or ringing sound, oh no, that wouldn't be irritating enough. They blast out some nauseating version of "Dixie," "Yankee Doodle Dandy" or "Me So Horny." Being confined near someone carrying such a constantly erupting torture device could turn an anger management consultant into a homicidal maniac. Cell phones have been banned in our home. We shall continue to communicate as nature intended, by yelling at one another."