Silent Night, my foot!

Okay, I want to know what all this silent night, peace on earth stuff that I keep hearing on the radio is all about, 'cause obviously it is not happening at my house. With DH working second shift and now taking on an independent extended outside project to make some extra cash, combined with my part-time job and Roo's school, etc., there is not much silent or peaceful around here. I'm glad Christmas is right around the corner, because as much as I adore the preparations and excitement surrounding it, I'm getting a little worn out. Little Bit is sick again, apparently with the virus that's infected several kids in our neighborhood and that she picked up at a recent birthday gathering, and was awake night before last from 10:30 until almost 2:00...then back up again at 7:00...still recovering from that one...DH's grandfather is not doing well, actually so poorly that his grandmother told us to be sure our funeral clothes are ready, so we're kind of always on edge, half expecting to get that phone call summoning us to Louisiana.

With Mom's surgery and the other grandmother in Louisiana for the past month, we have decided to try DH working second shift for now & keeping Little Bit while I work three 1/2 days a week, which is actually working out well for the most part. The downside is that he hardly sees Roo and that we kind of feel like ships passing in the night, with neither of us getting a break, much less any amount of time together. Still, I'm truly grateful that his employer is working with him and that he has a job, esp. with the economy. If nothing else, the stresses of the last two years have shown me that we can and will work together for the betterment of our family, and that is beyond value.

A Blast From the Past

This is an article I wrote for the paper in February 2005. I still get comments on it occasionally even though it has been nearly five years since it was published.

THE MEMORY LINGERS ON

(….and on and on)

We had an interesting day at our house last weekend (January 29)—or at least I did. I call it that for lack of a better description.

I had planned for several days to leave for Atlanta that particular morning but the winter storm that slammed most of Georgia with a thick coat of ice made me reconsider.

I was disappointed and aggravated too because I had to postpone my trip and was not going to be able to spend much time with my children. Between roofers hammering on our house for most of the week and discovering the freezer had died and left me with a chest full of rotten food, I was more than ready for a break.

I am truly glad now that I did not leave home at the time I originally intended to do so.

While I am not saying that God brought the ice storm just to keep me home, I do feel He had a hand in saving me from what surely would have been a catastrophe. Maybe He felt sorry for me after the freezer calamity but I am thankful, nonetheless.

Knowing what I would have found when I returned home on Monday, I have no reservations in saying I would have had to move out of the house for quite a while if I had left on Saturday as planned.

It’s funny now but I can assure you, it was definitely not very funny then—at least the preliminary part was not.

My husband and children always joke that I can smell things when no one else does. They joke about birddog noses, etc. but it is often true even if they do ignore me when I complain. Bo rarely ignores me in these instances but even if he does, he usually respects my “scents-ability,” and wisely doesn’t dispute it when I say something stinks.

For most of Friday, I had complained that something smelled funny in our bedroom but I couldn’t find anything that could be creating the problem. Not surprisingly, Bo swore he couldn’t “smell a thing.”

Late that evening, I started to retire for the night when my olfactory senses were criminally assaulted at the bedroom door. Since it was after midnight and Bo was comfortably ensconced with tons of covers in his favorite recliner, I retreated to the den for the night.

Let me note here that he sleeps in his chair when he has breathing problems or, as in this case, an injured shoulder kept him from lying down. (It is essential to the story to explain this, especially as his shoulder was acting up and he had spent the past couple of nights there.)

The next morning, I told him we had to find whatever was stinking up the house. His sense of smell is notoriously bad but by then even he acknowledged he could smell it “a little.” As nasally impaired as he is, I knew if he could smell it, then it was every bit as awful, if not worse, than I first thought. He halfway looked around but soon left for work, leaving me alone with the stink-detective job.

I searched everywhere I thought it might be coming from as well as some places I didn’t, but no luck. I even got down on the floor with the flashlight and looked under the bed because our Jack Russell Terrier had brought a dead bird into the house earlier in the week. He tends to do this occasionally this time of year when large numbers of Goldfinches winter at our feeders, so it would not have been a shock to find one under there with his tiny feet turned up.

Nothing there but some old shoes and even my feet don’t smell that bad!

I kept going back to the recliner where Bo slept because it seemed stronger in that area but I still could not find the source. I picked up the throws and blankets he keeps there but they seemed okay, no obvious evidence in sight. By that time, I was beginning to doubt my own abilities a bit, but not enough to think I was imagining something that malodorous.

I Lysol™ed everything in the bedroom and saturated Bo’s chair and covers more than once. By then, I was burning more candles than certain church services do, trying to get rid of, or at least mask the smell.

When Bo came home for lunch, I told him I was sure that whatever it was had to be coming from somewhere around his chair because it was really strong in that area. Again, he swore he had not smelled anything until that morning and all he could smell now was candles and fabric spray.

After he went back to work, I decided to wash the blankets he had been using even though I didn’t believe they were the culprits. The spraying and candles had helped, but my stomach was still doing cartwheels every time I went near the bedroom and I was desperate enough to try anything by that time.

I took all the covers off the chair and found nothing. I looked over and under the chair again and found nothing more than the noxious scent itself. Then, I removed the beach towel Bo keeps spread over the seat of his chair.

On the seat, underneath the towel, was a very dead and very ripe Goldfinch. S/he was also very flat because Bo had been sitting on him for at least one night, and probably more.

When I uncovered the poor creature, the odor hit the room full blast. Believe me, it could easily have gagged a mule with a strong stomach.

In the meantime, our angelic pup was watching very placidly as I alternately wretched, threatened, and complained vividly. The way he watched so intently as I spent more than half a day searching should have told me he was at the bottom of this even if past experiences hadn’t.

He didn’t move an inch as I put the bird in a bag and took him out to the trash, not even when I dropped the poor thing in the process. When I got back inside though, this dog had gone somewhere else in the house and brought out another dead Goldfinch and laid him neatly in the middle of our den rug.

I guess he figured if I could find one he had hidden that well, he would just give me the other one. Thank goodness for that!

I still take a test-sniff when I come home though.

And I still pat the recliner seat occasionally—just in case.

This mischievous canine has lived with us most of his nine and a quarter years and we will keep him, but I am considering closing up his doggy door if he keeps hiding his dead bounty in the house. I am also considering having Bo’s sinuses Roto-Rooted™!

Public Service

As a favor for anyone facing surgery on their dominant hand, I would like to perform a public service by sharing this very important list of tips on what to look forward to. These suggestions are predicated on basic requirements of keeping said hand dry and fully protected from bumping, banging, squeezing, or any type of pressure and are listed in no particular order of importance. Please note too that all of these are not necessarily bad such as sweeping, vacuuming, cleaning. etc. but are included for informational purposes.

In view of my personal history and experience as well as the recent surgery on my right thumb, I feel I am more than qualified to make these observations. I also reserve the right to add more to this list as they come to mind. Please feel free to share this register with any others you think may benefit from it. There is no charge for use.

A partial list of impossible and nearly impossible tasks for right-handed people to do with their left hands, vice versa for lefties:

• Uncork a bottle of wine.
• Unscrew caps from bottled water.
• Open a soft drink.
• Remove tops from peanut butter jars.
• Open bags of chips, etc.
• Open crackers or any other type package.
• Opening any other cans/jars/bottles.
• Use a grater without severely damaging your good hand.
• Cook anything that involves handling hot dishes/food.
• Comb/shampoo/style your hair.
• Put makeup on evenly.
• Button your blouse, slacks, etc.
• Zip anything with a balky zipper.
• Zip anything with a good zipper.
• Tie your shoes.
• Dress/undress in less than twice the length of time it usually takes.
• Use aerosol containers like hair spray safely.
• Clean/insert contact lenses.
• Trim your nails.
• File your nails.
• Brush your teeth thoroughly.
• Floss your teeth at all.
• Eat soup or anything with lots of liquid content, using non-dominant hand.
• Use a knife.
• Use a fork.
• Use chopsticks. (This is fudging a little because I can't do that with my right hand either.)
• Wrap Christmas/birthday/or whatever occasion gifts.
• Tie a ribbon firmly around a package.
• Curl ribbons with scissors.
• Use scissors or kitchen shears.
•  Decorate a Christmas tree.
• Shave your legs or underarms without slicing or dicing skin.
• Hold/sort playing cards.
• Shuffle playing cards.
• Press those tiny little buttons on your telephone accurately.
• Use those annoying credit card scanners where you have to push the card in and pull it out instead of zipping it through a slider.
• Type with any degree of accuracy and speed.
• Write/sign anything.
• Dig an object from the bottom of your purse, a drawer, etc.
• Turn a key in a door.
• Hold an umbrella as well as purse, packages, etc. at the same time.
• Sweep.
• Vacuum.
• Dust.
• Any cleaning that involves scrubbing or bearing down hard.
• Hand wash dishes.
• Shopping for anything heavier than a loaf of bread or more than a few small items at the same time.
• Slap someone silly no matter how tempting.
• Last but not least, maybe even considered a little vulgar by some (but hopefully not offensive), learning to wipe your bum with your non-dominant hand is probably the ultimate challenge! 

Telfair Enterprise Food Column for December 24

Cran-Rasp-Spin Salad is not only good for you but is also an attractive addition to a menu.

Lime Chiffon Pie makes a light ending for any meal but is especially good with seafood

Time to Pay the Piper

(Healthy Holiday Alternatives)

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

~ Orson Welles

By the time you are read this, the holidays will over, or close to it, and it’s time to repair some of the damage we have done by overindulging in all the rich goodies so prevalent this time of the year. This is often a painful process but perhaps some of the following recipes will make it less excruciating.

I’ve included low calorie salads as well as low calorie dressings if you prefer to make your own salad. Of course we all know that fresh fruit is the best dessert but some times it’s just not enough to satisfy that sweet craving so I’ve included some more decadent (in taste only) ones here. Hopefully, they can satisfy that persist yen that seems to keep popping up over and over.

**********

Salmon & Grapefruit Steaks

1 T. olive oil

1-1/2 c. finely chopped onions

1 c. fresh grapefruit juice and segments

4 6-oz.e boneless, skinless salmon steaks

Fresh grapefruit segments for garnish

Heat olive oil in large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add onions and cook until tender. Place salmon and grapefruit juice with segments in pan, cover and simmer over low heat for 6-8 minutes or until fish is done. Put steaks on warm plates, divide pan juices over them equally and garnish with grapefruit segments. 4 servings

Oatmeal Banana Bread

2 c. uncooked oatmeal

1 c. Splenda

1 t. baking soda

1 t. baking powder

1/2 t. salt

3 eggs

3 ripe bananas

1 t. vanilla

1 c. chopped walnuts, opt.

Preheat oven to 350° F. Put dry ingredients in a blender or food processor. Add eggs, bananas and vanilla and blend or process until smooth. Stir in nuts, pour batter into a greased loaf pan and bake for 45 minutes or until a wooden pick tests clean. Serves 8.

Cran-Rasp-Spin Salad

1 10-oz. pkg frozen red raspberries in syrup, thawed

1/4 c. sugar

2 t. cornstarch

1/2 c. cranberry-raspberry juice cocktail

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

1/4 teaspoon celery seed

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

1 10-oz. pkg. fresh spinach, stems removed and torn

1/3 c. broken walnuts

1/4 c. dried cranberries

2 T. sunflower seeds

3 green onions, thinly sliced

Dressing: In a blender container or food processor bowl cover and blend or process raspberries till smooth; strain through a sieve to remove seeds. Discard seeds.

In a medium saucepan stir together sugar and cornstarch; stir in strained raspberries, and stir over medium heat till thickened and bubbly; cook and stir for 2 minutes more. Transfer to nonmetal container. Cover and chill until serving time.

Salad: In a salad bowl toss together spinach, walnuts, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds, and green onions. Drizzle with half of the dressing. Cover and chill remaining dressing in a non-metal container for up to a week to use in other vegetable or fruit salads.

Fig & Mango Salad

Vinaigrette:

3 T. olive oil

2 T. fresh lemon juice

2 T. chopped fresh chives

1/4 t. ground black pepper

1/8 t. salt

Salad:

6 c. torn mixed salad greens

6 large fresh figs, quartered lengthwise

1 medium mango, seeded, peeled, and cut into chunks

Vinaigrette: Combine olive oil, lemon juice, chives, pepper and salt in a covered container. Shake well and set aside.

Salad: Toss together salad greens, figs and mango chunks in a large bowl and drizzle with vinaigrette. Toss gently to coat and serve. Not an ordinary salad but extraordinary delicious.

Wrapped Salad

2 8-in. whole grain, whole wheat, or flour tortillas

3/4 c. shredded romaine and/or fresh spinach

1/2 an avocado, halved, seeded, peeled, and sliced

1/4 of a cucumber, halved lengthwise, seeded, and thinly sliced

1/4 c. shredded Monterey Jack cheese with jalapeño peppers

Salsa, opt.

On each tortilla, layer romaine, avocado, cucumber, and cheese. Roll up tightly. If desired, halve tortillas diagonally. Wrap each tightly with plastic wrap. Chill for up to 6 hours. Delicious as is or serve with salsa.

Chicken Salad with Mango Vinaigrette

Salad:

2 medium mangoes

1/2 t. curry powder

1/4 t. coarsely ground black pepper

1/8 t. salt

12 oz. skinless, boneless chicken breast halves

6 c. torn mixed greens

1/2 of a medium cantaloupe, seeded and cubed

1 c. raspberries

1 small apple, cored and sliced

Mango Vinaigrette:

2 T. rice or white wine vinegar

2 t. honey

1 t. Dijon-style mustard

Garnish:

2 green onions, thinly bias-sliced

Pit, peel and cut manges into 1-inch cubes. Measure one cup mango cubes for use in the vinaigrette and set aside remaining mango cubes aside for salad.

Combine curry powder, pepper and salt in a small dish, mixing well. Sprinkle chicken evenly with curry mixture and rub in with your fingers. Broil or grill chicken until tender and no longer pink, turning once. Let cool chicken slightly before slicing into 1/4-inch-wide strips.

Arrange greens on four dinner plates and top with chicken strips, cantaloupe, raspberries, apple slices and reserved mango cubes. Drizzle with Mango Vinaigrette and garnish with green onion slices.

Vinaigrette: In a blender or food processor, combine one cup mango cubes, 3 tablespoons orange juice, 2 tablespoons rice vinegar or white wine vinegar, 2 teaspoons honey and 1 teaspoon Dijon-style mustard. Cover and blend or process until smooth. Pour into a covered container and chill until serving time, up to 2 hours.

Maple-Balsamic Vinaigrette

2 T. extra virgin olive oil

2 T. balsamic vinegar

2 t. pure maple syrup

2 t. Dijon style mustard

Sea Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and whisk until well blended or alternately, combine ingredients in a small jar, close lid tightly and shake until completely mixed. Pour over mixed greens for a simply but delicious salad. Makes about 1/3 cup. Calories: 45 per serving/1T.

Low Fat 1000 Island Dressing

1/3 c. low-fat mayonnaise

2 T. ketchup

2 T. fresh lemon juice

2 T. minced red bell pepper

1 T. minced onion

1 T. minced fresh parsley leaves

1 T. sweet pickle relish

Pinch of cayenne pepper

1/4 c. water

Salt to taste

Blend or process all ingredients until smooth. If dressing is too thick for your taste, you may add up to 2 tablespoons additional water to thin to desired consistency. Serve with crisp lettuce, sliced tomatoes or seafood salad. Yields 1 cup. Dressing will keep for one week if kept covered and chilled.

Yogurt Berry Smoothie

10 strawberries, hulled

25 raspberries

25 blueberries

1-1/4 cups low fat yogurt

Blend all ingredients together until smooth and drink immediately.

Alternative: Freeze overnight and next day process in a food processor until smooth for a sorbet-like dessert. You may add sugar or lemonade if desired but this takes away some of the healthy factor unless you are using sugar-free lemonade.

Baby Tiramisù

1/2 c.(4 oz.) nonfat ricotta cheese

2 T. confectioners' sugar

1/2 t. vanilla extract

1/8 t. ground cinnamon

12 ladyfingers, (about 1 3/4 ounces)

4 T. brewed espresso, or strong coffee, divided

2 T. bittersweet chocolate chips, melted

Combine ricotta, sugar, vanilla and cinnamon in a medium bowl and set aside. Place 6 ladyfingers in a 9-by-5-inch or similar size loaf pan and drizzle with 2 tablespoons espresso. Spread the ricotta mixture over the ladyfingers.

Layer remaining ladyfingers over ricotta and drizzle with the remaining 2 tablespoons espresso. Drizzle with melted chocolate and refrigerate until about 30 minutes or until chocolate is set. 6 servings, 107 calories per serving

Lime Chiffon Pie

2/3 c. boiling water

1 3-oz. pkg. lime flavor sugar free gelatin

Ice cubes

1/2 c. cold water

2 cups thawed fat-free whipped topping

1-1/2 t. lime zest

2 T. lime juice

1 reduced-fat graham cracker crumb crust

Place gelatin mix in large bowl, add boiling water and whish for two minutes or until mix is completely dissolved. Add enough ice to the half cup cold water to equal one 1 cup. Add iced water to gelatin mixture and stir until ice is melted. Stir in whipped topping, zest and juice. Refrigerate 15 to 20 minutes or until mixture is very thick and will mound when spooned into the crust. Chill in refrigerator for 4 hours before slicing. 8 servings, 140 calories each

Priceless

Two Barbie Dolls: $15.00

A set of Scooby-Doo and the Mystery Kids figurines: $20.00

Your three-year-old daughter wildly pushing two naked Barbies and a stuffed-in-the-trunk Shaggy in a yard-sale toy Jeep around the house, shouting, "Mama, it's those crazy Barbies, they've got Shaggy!!".......Priceless

I'm happy to report

that Mr. Murphy (of Murphy's Law fame) is alive and well and staying at my house.

My surgery went great, right thumb is still quite painful, but looking good. Yesterday the pain was pretty heavy so I decided to take some extra pain medication to relieve it but stayed within prescribed limits. Unfortunately, prescribed limits were a just a wee bit more than my system liked and I stayed up all night scratching from the reaction to it!

Today I felt pretty good and decided I could dip some cherries for a Sunday School party tomorrow evening. Should have let well enough alone. I managed to gouge a large chunk out of my left index finger with the grater. By the time I finally got it to stop bleeding, I was not in the mood and whatever Christmas spirit I had is severely wilted.

I still have a little itching so I think I shall call it a day and try to sleep it off. Good night all!

Really short entry

It's much too difficult to type with just my left hand so this posting will be very short. I had some "repair" work on my right thumb yesterday and am sporting a bulky bandage with a splint inside. Hopefully, at least the splint part will come off tomorrow. Until then, perhaps even later...