View from the inside

For the first time in my life, I’m living in a place where many church congregations exceed the population of the towns in which I spent most of my life. I've been in Atlanta for a year now and I still find the constant hum of a vibrant energy exciting.

Despite the differences, Atlanta is a big city made up of small communities and many things are similar, just on a different scale ~ most of the time anyway. After the first few months, reality set in and I've learned just how pronounced those differences can really be, especially traffic-wise. I have also discovered how to translate some of these communications as well as a few tips to help cope.

Even though I can no longer wait until five minutes before I have to be across town, learning your way around really isn’t as complicated as it seems. Especially if you invest in a handy dandy GPS and a good compass if your vehicle didn’t come equipped with these.

With the weather we’ve had this winter, you can’t depend on the sun to tell if you’re going north or south or east or west (this is much easier to confuse than you can ever imagine!), I especially recommend a compass.

A GPS will help you find where you’re going but the best thing about it is when you take the wrong turn or miss yours and wind up in an area that looks like a completely different country, you can pull over and set it to take you home. Double value: I programmed mine with a Hannibal Lector voice and it also entertains me while driving.

I love it when that Anthony Hopkins voice says something like, “Driver, ahead you have a left turn. It’s just as well. Your therapy’s going nowhere,” or “Driver. You’ve reached your destination. Don’t worry. I’ll inform Clarice myself” and numerous other gems like that. Bonus: No one here pays attention to you if you are laughing while driving alone. Either they assume you are on your cell phone or are thinking, ‘Oh, Lord, another nutcase! Don’t make eye contact! Don’t make eye contact!’

I used to wonder why people from the city always spoke of distance in time instead miles, i.e., it’s 30 minutes instead of 3 miles, etc. but now I know. Perhaps I exaggerate a bit. You can make it in 15 if the traffic isn’t as heavy as usual or you get all the lights or there’s no accident or roadwork on the way or donkeys fly.

Just because you checked traffic conditions on the Internet or other sources and found your route was clear just before you walked out the door, that doesn’t mean they will be the same when you get there five minutes later.

The statement, “Traffic is flowing smoothly on the downtown connector,” does not mean it is flowing rapidly or even at the speed limit for that matter. It might be “flowing smoothly” at 19 mph. Or less.

If a flashing sign over the interstate tells you there is a wreck 3.7 or whatever miles ahead, get off immediately even if you cannot see any jams or holdups. I promise there will be one of monumental proportions right around the next curve, about the time you find it’s too late to take another route.

You should also learn the proper answer to certain questions or at least what the asker wants to hear. For instance, when a DeKalb County police officer asks if you know why he pulled you over on I-20 when you were driving 62 mph in a 55 mph zone, “Umm, for slowing up traffic?” is probably not the best reply. For some reason, that seems to make them positively apoplectic.

Always keep a soothing music CD ready to pop into the player when you feel your blood pressure rising. I recommend a quiet Henry Mancini CD. (Enya grinds on me after a while.) And gum. Lots and lots and gum!

I’ve learned to relax and enjoy the changes, not just here but in myself. The times I’ve gotten off the beaten path, literally or mentally, whether I meant to or not (and most of the time I did not), I’ve seen or learned something new. Every day can be a day of new discovery if you let it.

Roll with the punches, go with the flow and all those old adages we’ve heard before and you will be pleasantly surprised. And commit this modern beatitude to memory: Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.