Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Children

Just a few of my favorite(?) things I never pictured saying to my children (during my pre-kid years, of course):

Stop smacking your sister with the banana peel.

Don't play with the dog's boobies, that's not nice, she doesn't like it.

Yes, that's poo-poo. That's right, it's bleah, we don't eat it.

We don't put peas into our ears.

We put food in our mouth, not (insert whatever is appropriate at the moment: toenails, trash, etc.).

Don't sit on the dog while you're wet and naked, you'll get fur in your behind.


And that's just a list from this week so far!