A Diffiult Choice

Recent surgery on my thumb reminded me of this column I wrote about six years ago. Not that the thing with my thumb was nearly that traumatic mind you, but still aggravating.

Choosing the Lesser of two Evils

Crutches or a walker? A walker or crutches? Really not much of a choice.

I recently had to choose and I have an uneasy feeling that either one would have been wrong. I know that neither would have been easy!

I postponed some pretty nasty foot surgery for three years, trying all the other remedies offered, some more than once.

Even though I really dreaded wearing a cast for a long time, little did I know that would be the least of my problems.

After biting the bullet and finally going through with it last week, I took the advice of nurses and therapists and opted for the walker. I can’t speak knowledgeably about crutches, but I have a feeling things would not have been all that different. That little therapist did make it look easy though.

I need the walker to keep the weight off my foot for the next few weeks. Silly me. I thought it was used to help you get back into shape. Little did I know that you need to be in good physical shape to use one of these metal monsters.

It sits in front of me, its metal bars stretched into a toothless grin, laughing at me. Daring me to try to conquer it.

I rise to the bait when I cannot longer resist the urge for a drink or to get something I want badly. (After just a couple of days, I had to want it extremely badly to even make the effort!)

It’s the same routine every time. Hop a few feet, rest and puff; hop, rest, puff—over and over and over. After what seems to be forever, I finally make it 15-20 feet to the refrigerator to get a fresh drink or snack.

This will necessitate taking lots of extra steps or you can do as I sometimes do and say, “Forget it. I wasn’t thirsty anyway,” and fall back down in your chair.

I figure by the time I get my arms and left leg muscles in shape, I won’t need it anymore. But if I ever anticipate needing one again, I am going to start lifting weights and go on a diet well beforehand.

While I am a long way from being an expert on this after the short time I have been using the contraption, I feel I am in a position to offer a little advice.

(This is not for those who just need a little assistance in getting around but for those who need it short term. After my experience, I certainly have a whole new admiration for the people who have to use them every day!

First, several weeks before you will have to start using a walker or crutches, find someone who weighs the same thing you do and carry them in your arms every step you make, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If you have to keep weight off one foot, do the same thing, only hop on one foot with them in your arms.

If you cannot find anyone to cooperate with you in this venture, you can accomplish the same thing with weights tied to each arm.

Do not wait until you really have to go to head towards the bathroom. Get a head start when you even think you might have to go, yelling all the way, “If anyone is in the bathroom, get out!”

And carry a little bag with you. It is hard to carry a drink under your arm and use a walker at the same time. Not only is it uncomfortable, when you drop the thing, it will roll forever.

Also, get one of those reacher gadgets to help pick up stuff. That way you may be able to beat the dog to the cookie you drop.

Not everything is negative though. On the upside, there is no cooking or laundry or housework during this time.

I do miss getting in the car whenever I like and going where I want to go. And I confess to being more than a little tired of peanut butter and crackers and daytime television.